so I was literally asleep like a second ago, i just got up,
thinking about the kiss, his name was Steven... i saw him again that Friday, i
loved it, not him, just how much of a good time we had. i had the memory of
that night in my head for a long time, its the memory that came to me when i
woke up; in case you don't know i'm in Peru and it is 2:00 am, not really late,
just wired to open my eyes and head strait to my laptop and start writing about
it.
after that Friday,
i went out with my friends, Steven and i planned to see each other again, but
he canceled saying we’d hang out tomorrow. i went out with a group of people,
and sent him the direction of the bar we were at, i waited, he never called to
say he wasn't coming until like 4:00am, he was drunk not shocking at all :/ he said
in the drunkest but somehow sweet "lore, i wish i had gone earlier, your
sooo great, i'm glad i met you, it’s just wrong of me to go right now; but i
want to see you again soon" i said sure, and it didn't bother me, i was
actually fine with it, i had had a great time out, yes i did plan on seeing
him, but i was ok.
until my sweet and
utterly drunk cousin called him, and somehow made him come that late, he found
us and sat down with me, we talked and then said something i had hear once
before "lore, i have to tell you sth", me (knowing it was not good)
"sure say it :)"; Steven: "i really like you, it’s just i have
been interested in this other girl for a while and i don't think its fear for
you to continue this"... in an odd way i didn't even feel sad or mad, i completely
understood him, he was being truthful, not sth i can be mad at, right?
i told him it was
fine, just friends, i mean i had only seen him like 2 times before. no way
could i have any reason to feel like he was being a jerk, unlike what my cousin
says but she was a little out of it at the time. what actually bothered me was
how i let it slide, without fighting for sth i want which was another kiss, yes
i wanted to kiss him, not for him to "be with me" or anything, just
plain out grab him and kiss him. and i'm sooo frustrated about this, cause all
i did was talk a bit more until he said "i should go, we should hang out again”
and i said "yeah, cause your really nice".
alternate ending
should be him walking away and me saying to my group of people ï'll be right
back" and follow him and say "hey Steven!" grab him kiss him for
who knows how long and then "i'm glad we're friends now" smile and go
back to the bar.
writing it is
making me feel less frustrated with myself, it i ever get the chance to see
him, i will probably have this fake memory in me head the entire night haha,
like i said before i don't care if he wanted to date me, i mean yes that would
have been nice, but can't a girl just want sth nice and cheese at the end of
the night, to remember as "oh yeah, he was a good kisser, good night
indeed" just to keep locked away for herself? maybe not, but for me at
least it doesn't seem wrong.
like every girl, i
won't forget him, i won't regret.. i will just remember the nice guy at that
bar... to quote a girlish song that i know lots of you maybe don't like, but i
adore: "it was enchanting to meat you" (Taylor Swift) it grasps all
my feelings, maybe a little bit enhanced but still maintaining the essence of
it all.
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