It might be hard to handle...

 my b-day pic (20yo)

ok, the big day has finally passed, i went up in front of the class and said everything i needed to say. yet what should make me utterly happy, has in fact made me feel all that more stupid. yup, i  think all never get over stage fright, and i'll probably always forget how i come out in the end (OK) but what gets to me is how much stress i put on myself, up to the point that even after i'm done with it all, i get an ENORMOUS headache, like if god is telling me "see, you over reacted, and here is your punishment... muahahah!" well minus the evil laugh, i got him spot on i think haha XD

since i got all crazy the last few days, emotions flying in every direction, i found a way to distract myself... it might seem a bit self absorbed, but i don't care... i like my pictures ans i have lots of fun editing them, plus i haven't took pictures in a while, so all the one i have are of me :D

picmonkey.com.... if you were wondering where I edited the pictures

yes, i'm fine? True or False?...

i never knew my stage fright would get worse, i understood that it was never gonna get over it, but i hate that now i can't even think about going in front of a class,when i still have 2 days to get ready. it's not fare.
i try to remember what Katia told to ask myself every time i get nervous about class work or projects:
do you get bad grades?
can the person grading you, physically hurt you?
do you really not know what your gonna talk about?

but the answer to all those questions is no, but then why do i get all anxious, that i can't even sleep well or i sleep but get up with a wired feeling, like the kind you get when you know your forgetting something, yet your really not :S
i did the breathing technique and the imagination one (where you picture a peaceful place that make you happy and feel safe, etc) still the sensation stays. i told my mom, how pathetic, a 20 yo telling her mom that she is scared of speaking in front of her class :( i almost cried, no wait, i did... i felt better though, letting it out, whether it be through writing or talking, i think it's helped a bit... and maybe the pill my mom gave me to help me sleep.
i write soon to say how it went... 'cause i believe i won't even be opening the internet (chrome) this week.
wish me luck... :)